Afterthoughts of Marley and Me

I'm no film critic and this is not going to be one of those types of posts. While doing mundane chores after watching the film (after dinner), my brain decided to do some movie break downs. If you have not seen the movie and wish to...stop reading.

I was hesitant to rent this movie because we do not own a dog, do not wish to own a dog atm, and I unfortunately have no patience for dogs at this stage of my motherhood. All I had heard about it was that it was a sad dog movie. Well, I got suckered in... my older kids love dogs, want dogs and play with my friends dog. So last night we watched Marley and Me. I felt myself drawn more to the main female character. I will admit that when she suffered the miscarriage I had to leave the room disguising my leaving as getting watermelon while I hastily dried my eyes. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, it left me grieved, angry at my love for not being there (he was doing field med training with the Marines at the time for the Navy Corpsman) and very sad. I was about 10 weeks, just getting used to the idea...had a name picked out and boom..US showed no baby. This part of the movie was like a glimpse of my past. It was heartbreaking. But now looking back...I would not have my dear daughter had the first baby survived. She has been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I can't imagine it without her. Ever.

My kids during all those parts of coarse were focusing on the dog. He was crazy misbehaving and all it did was kind of make me glad I didn't have to deal with that right now lol. (sorry to any dog lovers that read this, I still have a 2 year old to potty train)

Then we move on, they have two babies now and the second one has colic and tends to scream alot. Alot alot. The mother is exhausted of coarse and the dad walks in. Oh boy. I don't know about any of you...but her tantrums...I've been there. The build up of a stressful, exhausting day spewing out all over your husband. All of a sudden everything is there fault. Everything down to your lack of sleep. Its overwhelming, these moments where you feel your the backseat driver in your life and someone is pushing the pedal faster and faster. You start belching out every thought you can think of why its their fault that you feel the way you do. And while they are standing there starring at you trying to figure out whats going on you gather momentum and fuel your own fire. Its at these moments that I (like the female character) forget that I chose this. That I chose to be a stay at home mom and he work. Going into it I knew that more often his sleep would trump mine. That he would have long days and need that wind down at the end to gather himself. That I would be the 24/7 "super" mom. (cough) Then of coarse I tend to start cleaning something, its what I do when I'm frustrated, mad, sad..you name it. And thats when it all hits me...what I've said. How there was truth mixed in with insanity of me being overwhelmed. And I have to face the music. I apologize, and my husband being who is he accepts it. And then even better, he wants to talk. He wants to try to figure out ways to make it easier on me. This coming from my super man that has his job and so many responsibilities that thinking of them makes even my head swirl. Superman indeed.

Then a baby girl. Dog is older, still acts like a puppy...which I guess is good and bad. And the dad runs into the old friend (the one that goes through girlfriends like underwear). He's complimented on his life, his family...that he did good. Then the friend goes his way picking up girls as he leaves. Who would most men envy? The guy with the responsibilities of four worlds on his shoulders or the one walking away single? To me, as a woman, I felt sorry for the single guy...our adventure as a married couple has been so far the best trip of my life. As my kids grow and develop into who their gonna be, its exciting! I feel like I'm in on one of the worlds best kept secrets that I get to watch unfold before my very eyes! My family amazes me daily, nothing seems better.

Then the end. We all know the dog is sick. We all know the dog is gonna die. And he does. You get to witness how much he was loved and the impact he had on his family. The one that touched me the most was the eldest boy. Total love of a boy and his dog. My dear husband takes this moment to do a "cry check". I'm dry, my sons are dry...though Pie is very sad. My dear dear daughter is caught. Crying profusely into her pillow. She of coarse wishes for a dog of her own. My dear allergic daughter. Though I must admit that her allergies seem to be getting better around dogs. Will there be a pup in her future? When all our potty training days are over and mom has more patience with living things other than children...maybe. For her and her brothers, I hope so.